


Blind

by thequadraticformula



Series: Murderer [4]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 02:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20987300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequadraticformula/pseuds/thequadraticformula
Summary: Sana isn't as sympathetic as she seems.





	Blind

There was a time, long ago, when Momo walked into the practice room. She thought she would have been alone, but Sana was there, sitting in the corner, organising her music for an extra hour of practice alone while she had time. When Sana heard the door creak open and the sniffles of a person in tears walk through, she stood and turned to come face to face with Momo.

At first Sana didn't know what to think. The members often went through mood swings and rough patches when the workload built up like it had been recently. Twice were preparing for a comeback, learning the choreography and getting ready for a long day of music video filming and photoshoots. Sana was struggling with the chorus choreography, so she had taken in upon herself to use her hour of free time to catch up with the others. It was a bit weird to see Momo so shaken up about it though. She was always the first to catch onto the choreography and was consistently complimented. Sana didn't understand why she would be upset. There was nothing else occupying their time until the music video shoot.

When Momo made eye contact with Sana, she looked surprised and started to wipe her red, swollen eyes immediately. She laughed shakily.

"I didn't think anyone else would be in here." She said, placing an item she had in her hand into the band of her workout tights. Sana wondered what it might have been.

It may be a surprise to some of you, but Sana isn't a comforter. She never knows what to say. And then was no exception. She had no idea in hell of what to say to Momo. Should she go to hug her? Maybe not since she was pretending to be fine. That might make it worse. Should she ask her what was wrong? No. Again, Momo would probably just dismiss her like nothing was wrong. So, instead, Sana went for the third option. Play along.

"Oh." She said, shifting slightly on her feet. "I just came in here to practice the choreography that I'm struggling with."

Momo paused for a moment, the muscles in her neck contracting and releasing several times and her jaw working away, grinding her teeth. She was holding back a sob, but she was unable to reverse the single tear that rolled down her cheek. She let out a gasping breath as she tried to reply normally.

"M-me t-too." She replied, her voice straining against the need to cry out in pain. Sana was disturbed by this, but still had no idea of how she should help.

"Y-you know what?" Momo began, her breathing jagged and harsh as she tried to speak. "How about... I h-help you?" She plastered a smile on her face. Sana thought it was ugly. Why would she try to smile when she so obviously needed to cry? It didn't look legitimate at all. Did she think it did? All Sana could see were Momo's straining eyes, her furrowed brows, her flushed cheeks, her runny nose and a mouth with what seemed like too many teeth.

But she still played along.

"Yes please." She replied, smiling eagerly.

There was a time, long ago, when Momo didn't reply to Sana's texts for a week. Sana didn't think much of it, after all, it was a little strange that they texted despite seeing each other at all hours of the day. Sana would usually text Momo what had happened in her day that she had thought was funny or memorable. She liked to have these things physically written down. Momo also liked to text back, saying that she needed more practice than just texting with Nayeon all the time.

They liked to have emoji conversations, trying in vain to figure out what the other meant. Even if these conversations on LINE weren't long or particularly meaningful, Sana held them in a special place of her heart.

When Sana had tried to strike up a conversation with Momo via text, she didn't reply. For one week. Sana would never admit it, but she had been on the edge of her seat, waiting eagerly for her friend's reply. When they would see each other throughout the day, she was tempted to ask her to check her messages or to ask her what was going on, but she didn't because she knew that it was probably nothing. They conversed in person all the time anyway.

There was a time, long ago, when Momo wouldn't smile. They were preparing for a photoshoot. The concept was sweet and innocent and, of course, required a smile. But no matter how many times she was yelled at by the photographer and the stylists and the managers, Momo's face remained stiff, not an ounce of happiness to be found. They eventually gave up, telling her to take a break while they moved on to another member's portrait.

"What's going on with her today?" Jihyo muttered to Sana and Mina who were waiting their turn. "I know she hasn't been sleeping as well as usual, but I would never expect her to be this... I don't know..." Sana kind of understood where Jihyo was coming from. But she thought that she must know Momo much better than her.

When Momo was tired, she was always grumpy and irritable. You could barely hold a conversation with her without risking getting yelled at. Today was no different, she guessed. Momo hadn't been sleeping well, so she was angry at everything that moved. That was just Momo... right?

"Can you guys talk to her?" Jihyo asked, her head low in thought. Sana could tell she was trying to understand why Momo's mood was so dark. "Can you try to calm her down?"

She looked over at Mina. Her eyes questioned the girl, unsure if they should approach Momo after her irritable behaviour. Both of them knew that Momo had her grumpy moments and most of the time she just wanted to be left alone. Momo was temperamental and sensitive when she didn't sleep. Neither of them were convinced it was a good idea to interfere. But what other choice did they have?

"Sure." Mina mumbled. They looked over to Momo. She sat on a fold out chair to the side of the studio, her head buried in her phone, a scowl plastered on her face. She was in a horrible mood. Sana was scared to approach her. But they did anyway.

"Momo." Sana called lightly, but the girl didn't acknowledge them. "What's wrong? You look upset." Momo continued to flick through her phone as she replied starkly.

"I'm not." Mina looked at Sana, worry etched into her features.

"You know you can tell us–"

"Yeah, yeah. I can tell you guys anything." Momo interrupted Mina, her eyes flicking upward to glare cooly. "Maybe I have nothing to tell." She growled. Sana could have sworn that she saw a tear building up in the corner of her eye. "Just leave me alone."

Mina looked hurt. Sana felt angry.

"You don't need to be so dismissive, Momo." Sana said crossly. "We only want to help."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" Momo cried. Her eyes were watery, and her face was red. Her breathing was erratic.

"Hey!" Jihyo walked over, her arms folded and her face set in a hard glare. "What's going on? Huh?" Mina didn't say anything, walking away from Momo and wiping her eyes. Sana felt bad for her.

"Just tell them to leave me alone." Momo said to Jihyo, returning her attention to her phone. Sana didn't get it. Why was she acting so rude?

"No." Jihyo said firmly. "You listen to me right now, Hirai. You need to cut the attitude to the members and the staff. It's really not acceptable."

"Or what." Momo said, her mouth turning up slightly in a wicked smirk. "You can't tell me what to do Jihyo."

"Yes, I can. I'm the lea–"

"You're younger than me. Isn't that a thing in Korea? Listen to your unnie Jihyo and get the fuck away."

Momo rarely swore. Sana was furious. Jihyo was offended. They left Momo alone.

There was a time, long ago, when Momo spoke a sentence in Japanese that Sana didn't quite understand.

"I'm going to miss you all. Please look after each other."

She still didn't.

There were a lot of things she still didn't understand about Momo.

The text message:

**Sana, please look after Minari.**

**She gets upset easy. You know that. I Love you!**

The suicide note:

Hi guys,

This may be a shock to all of you, and I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.

<strike>I couldn't think of</strike>

<strike>I wish I could</strike>

<strike>I didn't</strike>

<strike>Please don't</strike>

Don't blame yourself, Dahyun.

I'm so sorry.

Momo

None of it made any sense to her. Momo said a lot of things in those last few days of her life. She had seemed better to Sana. A little brighter, a little bubblier, more talkative. She was almost back to herself.

Then she was gone. Sana didn't understand why it was so hard for her to be happy.

There was a time, only a few minutes ago, when Dahyun had a panic attack. It was a bad one. They were never usually this bad. She took medication for it, but it mustn't have been enough for her this time.

Sana had found her on the floor in the bathroom, curled into a ball, her back rising and falling with sharp breathes and her voice crying out the same phrase over and over again:

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Sana leaned down and rubbed Dahyun's back gently. She knew what Dahyun was apologising for. It was always the same. No matter how much time had passed, it was always the same. Five years made no difference. Sana wouldn't be surprised if after fifty years Dahyun was still crying and apologising.

"I'm so, so sorry, Momo." She sobbed and leaned against Sana, fighting the tears as hard as she could. "I could have done something. I should have said something."

"It's not your fault, Dahyunie." Sana spoke softly. "There was nothing you could have done."

Dahyun snapped her head up, a glare smeared across her face along with her tears.

"Y-you know what's wrong with you Sana?" She asked, standing up and pointing an accusing finger her way. "You don't know ANYTHING about her. You didn't even CARE."

Sana was taken aback by the sudden accusation.

"Yes, I did care..." She started, but Dahyun was quick to butt in, fresh tears finding their way out of the corners of her eyes.

"THIS IS MY FAULT." She screamed. Sana could hear the other members scrambling down the halls to the commotion. They all became protective when Dahyun got like this. "YOU'RE JUST TOO FUCKING BLIND TO NOTICE."

Sana didn't realise it, but she was crying.

"You didn't notice all the times I let her weird behaviour slide. YOU DIDN'T CARE THAT I KILLED HER. ALL YOU SAY IS "It isn't your fault, Dahyunie."" She mocked, spit flying from her mouth. "BUT IT IS. IT'S MY FAULT."

It was Jihyo that walked in then, taking Dahyun in her arms and stroking her hair.

There was a time... No. Right now. Right now, Sana realised that it truly wasn't Dahyun's fault Momo was dead.

It was hers.

Sana was the murderer.

She was just too blind, or maybe just too stupid, to notice.


End file.
